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Cheating Husbands and Cheating Wives Give Different
Reasons for Having Affairs
Ruth Houston
Men and women who cheat on their spouses or significant others give
different reasons to justify their extramarital affairs.
The latest infidelity studies indicate that percentage-wise the gap is closing
between cheating husbands in comparison to the percentage of cheating
wives. However, even though more men are now becoming victims
of infidelity, the fact still remains that 70% of infidelity victims are
women. What’s interesting though, is that men and women who are
cheating on their spouses give different reasons to justify their
extramarital affairs.
The Top Reasons Men and Women Cheat
The top 3 reasons men cheat all relate to sex. However sex is not usually
the motivating factor for cheating wives. The top 3 reasons women
cheat relate to unmet emotional needs or a desire for attention. Listed
below are the most common reasons cheating husbands and cheating
use to justify their extramarital affairs:
Why Men Cheat
The most frequently cited reasons for infidelity among men include
more sex (the desire for a more active sex life)
sexual variety (a desire for different kinds of sex)
opportunistic sex ( taking advantage of an opportunity to have sex
without the fear of getting caught)
to satisfy sexual curiosity (about a specific female)
a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)
the “thrill of the chase”
the desire to feel important or special
sexual addiction
Why Women Cheat
The reasons most frequently cited for female infidelity include
a desire for emotional closeness and intimacy (someone caring to
confide in and bond with on an emotional level)
a desire for attention (wanting be the center of a man’s attention again)
to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)
to re-experience feelings of romance
a desire to feel “special”
boredom
loneliness
sexual excitement
Men Cheat for Sexual Reasons, Women Cheat for Emotional Reasons
Granted, these are not the only reasons men and women cheat. There are
other reasons as well. But the bottom line is that men are cheating on
their wives primarily for sexual reasons, while women are cheating on
their husbands mainly for emotional reasons. But these are the most
frequently given by cheating husbands and cheating wives who are
willing to discuss their extramarital affairs.
Numerous studies on infidelity bear that out. In one study, 75% to 80%
of the men who admitted to having extramarital affairs said that sex was
the primary reason. Only 20% of the woman who were having
extramarital affairs said they did so for purely sexual reasons.
How More Marriages Could be Saved
The most amazing thing about the studies is that the majority of infidelity
victims (70% of married women and 54% of married men) have no
idea their spouse is having an extramarital affair.
In another study, 60% of the people who admitted that they were
cheating, said their partner did not know about their affair. This leads
me to conclude that if more people knew how to recognize the warning
signs of infidelity, more marriages could be saved. The first step to
solving a problem is knowing that the problem exists.
© 2005 Ruth Houston
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the author of Is He Cheating on You?-
829 Telltale Signs, a comprehensive guide which documents practically
every known sign of infidelity. She has been quoted in the New York
Times, the Toronto Sun, the New York Post, Cosmopolitan, the
Christian Science Monitor, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Marie Claire
and numerous other publications here and abroad. Ruth has also
been a guest on over 100 radio and TV talk shows in the US, Europe,
the Caribbean and South America including Good Day New York,
1010WINS, TalkAmerica, the Mike Gallagher Show, Telemundo,
BBC, ClearChannel, The Breakfast Club, and Caracol Radio Network.
In addition to researching and writing about infidelity, Ruth also conducts
infidelity seminars for women’s organizations, and does individual
infidelity consultations.
To contact Ruth Houston for an interview, an individual infidelity
consultation,
or an infidelity seminar, call 718 592-6039
For more information on infidelity, visit
http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com
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