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The bottom line, is that men are and will continue to be
attracted to other women.....
Why Men Cheat
"Big, little or short or tall,
Wish I could have kept 'em all,
I loved 'em every one"
- T.G. Sheperd, I Loved 'Em Every One
I thumbed through the New York City Yellow pages under "Escort
Services". There were twenty-five pages! "Escort" is just the way
businesses get around saying "prostitutes". Clearly, the world's
oldest profession is alive and well here in the Big Apple. I even
feel I can safely say that not all the men who patronize these
services are single.
Cheat is a silly word It's culturally centered. It implies that
we've violated the rules of the game of fidelity. First off, take
a look at the current divorce rate: 1 out of every 2 marriages
fails. Why? Marital infidelity is the biggest reason. There are
other cultures that openly allow a man to have more than one
wife; the Muslims. One of the richest men on the planet today,
The Sultan of Brunei has 100 wives! Right here in the United
States, polygamy is openly practiced in Utah.
We exist as human beings on two levels; with bodies and minds. We
attempt to enforce a set of Puritanical moral codes that
contradict our physical desires. This is just another of the many
ridiculous hypocrisies people try to impose upon themselves and
others.
If we would only be honest with ourselves, then we'd acknowledge
the fact that we are attracted to more than one
individual. This is not a violation of any love promise made to
one woman, it's just instinct, that pre-loaded software package
in our brains. On the purely physical plane, we have instinct and
hormones constantly influencing our thoughts. This combination
comes into play when a man sees an attractive woman walking by.
She stimulates his senses. He doesn't know what she's thinking he
only sees her physical attributes. They make him feel good.
He has fantasies of what it would be like to kiss her, to feel
her body against his; to make love to her. Seconds after, a
second thought, guilt, may come barging in. "I'm a married man"
or "I've got a girlfriend" or "How could I betray her like that?"
It's absurd that a man should feel guilt for something over which
he has no control.
Let's not forget movies, television and printed media. James
Bond, the ultimate womanizer, immediately comes to mind. What
about these soap operas that millions of women sit glued to their
televisions watching? The appeal of most of them is in watching
the main characters have affairs. Now there's a show on Fox
called "Temptation Island" (which should really be called "S
Survivor") where young couples are placed on an island. The men
and women are separated to opposite sides inhabited by horny
singles whose sole mission is to seduce these committed people.
The ratings for this show have been phenomenal! And how about
that riveting drama in the tabloids as well as mainstream
newspapers that unfolded in the White House a few years ago? You
remember, Bill Clinton and "I did not have relations with
that woman, Ms. Lewinsky" Monica Lewinsky?
With the advent of the Internet, a whole new definition of
cheating exists: Computer love affairs, the infidelity of your
text. Men can cyber with women and vice versa.
Here is where the distinction must be drawn. Physical performance
vs. emotional betrayal. Which do you think is more important? A
man can patronize a hooker, and once he's completed the
act she becomes just a vague memory. He doesn't want to grow old
with her. This is a very important point since men and women have
fought, marriages have crumbled, and so much emotional agony are
left in its wake.
The bottom line, is that men are and will continue to be
attracted to other women and yes, women have and will continue to
be attracted to other men too. When we can accept the reality,
then maybe we'll have become more mature as a society.
© Gregory Lions http://gregorylions.com
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