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Men's Wedding Rings - Should a Man Wear One or Not?
Peter Crump
Strange as it may seem the use of a wedding ring by men was not
common until recently. Whereas women have worn wedding rings for
eons, men have not. The use of rings as a symbol of everlasting
love enshrined in marriage can be traced back thousands of years.
But not so much for men.
It was, in fact, during the second world war that the use of
wedding rings by men became more common. (Note that mens wedding
rings and men's wedding bands are interchangeable, both meaning
the same thing.)
It became the custom for US soldiers going to war to publicise
their marital status by the wearing of a man's wedding ring. They
were happy to make public their commitment to their wife by the
wearing of a public symbol that declared that commitment to all.
Given that this habit of wearing men's wedding bands was
reasonably new it was all the more creditable that these men were
willing to forego the marital obscurity available to them from
not wearing a ring and actively chose to make a public statement
about their choice.
Men's wedding rings have become increasingly more common since
that time. Today it is probably as common for a newly married man
to wear a ring as not. This may be due to several factors. The
modern man may consider it his duty to choose to make the same
public marital statement as his wife will. And his wife may well
consider it a condition of the marriage that he do so. After all,
in these days of equality, if she is prepared to make a statement
then should he not do so as well?
Despite the fact that the wearing of a ring by a woman is a
matter of choice, it is in fact almost obligatory due to the fact
that it is so common. Many women do not even consider the
possibility of not wearing one. Often, however, a man usually
considers the wearing of a man wedding ring very carefully.
There are a number of issues to consider. Firstly, is he
concerned about a public display of his marital status? Some men,
whether rightly or wrongly, are threatened by this. Others are
not in the least concerned.
Secondly whilst the wearing of jewellery by women is so common as
to go unremarked that is not necessarily the case for men. For
many men the wearing of men's wedding bands is just a case of
being asked to wear jewellery. Men often do not feel comfortable
wearing jewellery and in many cases have never done so before.
Whilst some men see their wedding band as different to wearing
ordinary jewellery, others feel just the same as if they were
being asked to wear ear rings. "It's just not done by men". The
author, for example, wears a man wedding band, but would never
consider wearing any other form of jewellery.
And as many men have never worn any form of jewellery before they
have no idea what it will feel like to have something permanently
on the finger. Is it heavy? Does it rub? Silly as it may seem to
women this can be of concern to some men.
(If this genuinely is of concern it is quite possible to find a
cheap jewellery shop, buy the cheapest ring available and wear it
for a while. See exactly what it feels like. And find out your
size at the same time.)
Men's wedding rings are, in the eyes of some men, effeminate.
"Real men" don't wear rings or jewellery at all. This is becoming
less of an issue as the wearing of a man's wedding ring becomes
more common, but is still an issue with many men.
Culture is also a consideration. In many cultures the wearing of
wedding rings by men would never be considered. Men must think
about how their particular culture, and also their religion,
would view the wearing of a wedding band.
There are also practical considerations. Many men are engaged in
trades where the wearing of a man wedding band would be downright
dangerous. Although unlikely it is quite possible for a ring to
get caught in machinery. In some jobs a ring cannot be worn on
the job, and must be removed. This can also apply to women.
Ultimately though, the wearing of a men's ring is just one of the
many choices the man will have to make once he makes the
commitment to marry. And it is often a choice made by the couple
together, maybe one of the first they make in conjunction about
their wedding.
Which finger is the ring worn on, and why?
Generally a man's wedding band is worn on the ring finger, the
same as for women. The ring finger, for those unmarried men not
familiar with the concept, is the fourth finger of the left hand.
This is considered to be the finger closest to the heart.
This notion came originally from the ancient Greeks who believed
that this finger had an artery which flowed straight to the
heart. Whilst anatomically incorrect this makes for good fable.
So you have both decided that he will wear a men's wedding ring!
Once the man or couple have made the decision to purchase a men's
wedding ring for him there are still choices to make. Do they
want to wear a matching set? Or does he prefer that his ring
looks quite different to his wife's. It is perfectly possible for
a couple to buy a ring set where the style of the rings match
perfectly, or even with matching engraved messages of love.
Generally though, even where the couple are to wear a matching
ring set, the two rings are different. It is more common for the
man's wedding ring to be wider than the woman's. This is because
men's hands and women's hands are different. A woman usually has
narrower finer fingers, and so a narrower band suits her hand. A
man on the other hand has wider chunkier fingers and so a wider
man wedding band is more suited.
This often results in the mans ring costing more than the woman's
ring even with matching styles, as the mans ring uses more, often
expensive, material.
There are many innovative styles available now. Many men prefer a
simple unadorned band, however others enjoy highly decorated
styles which make a loud statement. The wearing of, for example,
very wide and highly adorned Celtic rings is becoming much more
common.
When considering the styles of men's wedding rings it is well
worth thinking about the personality of the individual. While
different men have very different personalities different rings
will suit different personalities as well. A loud outgoing man,
for example, can wear a loud outgoing unique men's ring.
There are many different ring materials which also reflect the
personality of the individual. Titanium or Platinum are both
becoming much more popular. Whilst diamonds are not, of course,
as popular with men as with women, they do make a clear statement
which pleases some men who choose them. Diamond men's rings
clearly say "I can afford it" or at least the big ones do. But it
can be a brave man who chooses to wear a large diamond band.
Ultimately there are no rules about choosing a man wedding band.
It is up to either the man or the couple together to make a
decision. Will he or won't he. There are a variety of
considerations. First, will he wear one? Once that decision is
made in the affirmative then there is a whole world of choice
about styles, widths, materials and the type of statement the
ring makes, both for the man and the woman.
But once he has his ring on it is rare that he decides that he
doesn't like it. And even if he doesn't, it is rare that the
woman will let him take it off!
Copyright © 2005 Peter Crump
About Peter: Peter Crump is the webmaster and owner of the
website www.coolmensrings.ili1.com
, a website devoted solely to
Men's Wedding Rings. Helping men, and women, find unique and
interesting Men's Rings.
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