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Great Sex After 70 Sex After 70
Sandor Gardos, PhD


Let me begin by commending you for making sex an important part
of your life. Far too many older men and women feel that once
they reach a certain age they should no longer expect to have a
good sex life. In reality, all people deserve to enjoy and
celebrate their sexuality, no matter what their age.

You will be happy to know that recent research shows that not
only are people capable of having sex well into their 90s and
beyond, but regular sex may actually promote a long and healthy
life. There is no reason, except for serious illness, why you
can't continue to enjoy sex for the rest of your life, no matter
how old you are.

While it is true that you are probably not getting erections like
you used to, this is completely normal. As men age, they tend to
require more direct stimulation -- and take longer -- to get an
erection. In addition, the period of time between erections that
follow orgasm becomes longer. While you may have been able to
achieve several orgasms an hour in your teens, most men in their
70s find that it can take up to a day, or even longer, to have
another erection after orgasm.

None of this, however, is reason to lose hope. One of the things
that distinguishes a great lover from an average one (and an
experienced man from an inexperienced one) is the knowledge that
great sex does not revolve around having the fastest, biggest,
hardest erection. In a way, you are in a great position to
experiment and learn about what you (and your partner) really
enjoy. I know that it can be a bit of an adjustment, but it can
also be a wonderful opportunity to learn how to reach heights of
sexual ecstasy that you never even knew existed! Just so you
know, although most men report that the strength of their orgasms
decreases with age, their enjoyment of sex does not. Clearly,
they have learned something during those years.

Nonetheless, I am sure you are wondering whether there is
anything you can do to improve your erections. If you are in good
health, eat right, exercise and don't smoke, you are probably at
your optimal state. If you believe that perhaps you are
experiencing more than just normal aging, you should see a
urologist so that he or she can properly diagnose whether you are
suffering from erectile dysfunction. Beyond that, the only thing
that has been shown to improve erections -- and sex in general --
is regular masturbation. While some older men may feel that
masturbating is "something teenagers do," the reality is that
people of all ages should not deny themselves sexual
satisfaction. In fact, people who masturbate more also seem to
have more frequent sex. Whether you have a partner or not,
masturbation can be something special you do just for yourself.

Finally, in regard to sex with a partner, there are other things
I am reasonably certain work just as well (or even better) than
when you were younger, such as your hands and tongue. You can
bring untold pleasure to your partner with or without an
erection. You should know that one of the most common complaints
that women (and even some gay men) have about men is that they
are "too fast." In your case, I bet the days of feeling that you
might be having an orgasm too quickly are over. In many ways, you
are really in your prime, more recalcitrant erections or not. I
can assure you that there is no 18-year-old on the planet whose
lovemaking skills can begin to approach those of a more mature
man like yourself.


So, don't despair. It can't hurt to get a check-up by a doctor,
but my best advice is to learn how to accept and actually enjoy
your state of sexual maturity. I wish you much joy and pleasure
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