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Marriage And Sexual Relation
Sadashivan Nair



Marriage is a social arrangement to allow woman and man to live together;
a social acceptance and conformity to maintain sexual relation for
reproduction. Social purpose of marriage is to regulate sexual relation
between man and woman. This system of sexual behavior differentiates
human from other species, builds sexual connection more respectable
and meaningful to maintain discipline in the society.

Each society has different systems of marriage in relation to its culture,
yet, the objective of all is to recognize sexual conduct of partners living together. Sexual
activity is the foundation of marriage and fulfillment is the tool for
constant relation. Sexual craving is the attraction that drags to togetherness.
Under the social system of marriage, couples achieve identity
and highest respect in the society that protects their relation.


For nature sexual activity may be procreation but for human it is sexual
craving, leads to seek partner for the fulfillment and marriage is the
social solution. Society disallows sexual relation before marriage or
extra marital affairs, reason behind this if approved there would be no
difference between human and other species. Human too would act
as animals for seeking partner. For animals may not be dangerous as
their sexual periods are in long intervals, on the other hand human have
short and frequent could lead to violent atmosphere. Social interference is
to arrest such unwanted activities to store rights and peace.

Marriage is portrayed as religious and fortunate that people wait anxiously
for this moment to enter married life. Celebrations and custom rituals
signify the identity of being Wife / Husband and togetherness. Real life
begins for both individuals when they need to share personality and sensual
feelings. Sex rules in the beginning of married life for openness and
understanding each other. Sex is the instrument that connects both to
represent as one to make family, family becomes a fraction
of the society. Sexual contentment is essential for first stage to retain
married life intact.

After some times of marriage sexual desire becomes part of normal routine.
First stage of married life is sensitive; each partner’s endeavor is to influence
own approach to create self environment in the home. This is
psychological war to create own dominance, weaker one has to surrender.
Man surrenders when he is economically, physically and emotionally weak.
Women are more sensible, understand social pressure on women as
each religion prescribes women’s role as submissive.

Also as I feel man is not as keen as woman to bind self in the family.
It is woman’s attempt; man sticks in the family. Woman’s desire of own
family is for protection/security of own and children.

Woman needs freedom but with protection and security, to an adult
woman her own family is her security. Keeping “family” in the mind she
sacrifices the dominance. Without woman there is no family so woman
is the pillar of the family structure. In modern world woman’s rights have
awakened her to educate self and economic independence. Has
revolutionized the social thinking about woman, she is now more
independent and self esteemed resulted many changes of married
life. Both men and women have to compromise for stable family.

Old system of marriage is not practical any more, both man and woman
need to be familiar with each other before marriage, so
can understand the personality and history can help to advance.
Solutions become easier to rectify weaker points in order to consecrate
family value.

• Sincerity of both the partners builds confidence in them to last relation.
• In many a cases disappointment takes place when desire exists for
unreachable in any form.
"Adore what you have and what is within reach".
• Sincerity of both the partners builds confidence in them to last relation.
• Sexual satisfaction is enticement to keep relation so not to hesitate.
Satisfy partner in whatever painless/ non hurting manner.
• Many marital disputes are due to past sexual relations that are kept secret.
When exposed becomes matter of life and death. Revelation in the beginning
avoids misunderstanding.
• Compromising own ego for positive reasons builds smoothness.


Second stage of marriage is the outcome of sexual activities; a birth
of new member of the family. New member draws all the attentions of
family life and first stage of life becomes memories. Wife and Husband
experience own image in the child that incites them to care more than
self.

Child’s biological appearance attracts adults to submit selves for compassion
towards child is the natural instinct for safe growth. Responsibility
towards growth of the new born becomes important activity. Woman’s
sexual interest weakens for limited period, is natural law to pay attention
for best breast feeding. Women can not avoid breast feeding as pressure
builds up in breast that has to be released, relief she gets from release is
pleasure for her. This natural law is to feed the child perfectly. As a father
becomes more responsible towards family and child so involves more into
the family affairs. His submission to the situation is to protect child from
any unwanted troublesome. Second stage defines father as protector
and mother as producer of future generation of own identity.

Sexual activity becomes second to child’s growth, especially woman
who works heavily for child’s growth. However, sexual desire is such
a greed that never eliminates until reaches unsuitable age, is to add
members in the family. So the second stage of marriage is giving birth
and taking care of family to grow. Contribution of their role steps further
towards more members and their health. Woman’s role is important as
she needs to care children and diverts her attention from husband to
child and house but if she goes to office her life becomes chaotic.
Overburdened lady weakens her health and sexual desire, irritation and
depression builds up due to weakness and intense involvement.

Man on the other hand finds self in little anxiety as the approach/response
is not as before. More necessities and demands of family load him if
he is economically weak. On the whole life of both wife and husband
is not as easy as before. The egoism and self-esteem overpowers them
when feel hurt, leads to arguments. An argument is the first stage of
worsening family. In a good family both realize the situation and
accommodate for smooth run. Normally, this situation prompts to find
ways to criticize each other makes uneasy life. The test of constructive
married life begins; most educated and able people succeed this
test to step towards third stage of married life, on the other hand
uneducated or self-centered people face this situation as hard test
and many of them fail. Those fail break up and search for new beginning
or search for extra affair. Good and bad relation of wife and husband
influences children too as they experience by observing. The relation
becomes doubtful to them mom and pop becomes less relevant
especially during puberty. This is what we observe in divorced or
violent families, children too become violent and depressed.
Second stage is also very difficult for egoistical issue-less couple,
feeling of partner as burden or loneliness drives to extra marital affairs.

• Remember best moment enjoyed with the partner is positive signal of
attraction to prolong relation.
• Anger infuriates; is fire only cool approach can extinguish.
• Extra marital life is curse to married life.
• There is no one else to come to assist if brought would worsen further.
So wife and husband together need to console each other and prepare
for next challenge.
• There is no house where difference of opinions are not there but
adjusting, accommodating and making understand the good and bad part
will help.
Avoid arguments as escalates situation and never helps. Patience is
water to fire.
• Sexual activities are best jokes, games, attraction, consolation, affection,
rejuvenation, temporary medication from depression and etc. So of use
this gifted source prepares for next challenge.
• Birth of child conveys purpose of the family so don’t delay. Child bring
purpose to live.

Adoption of child too serves purpose for issue-less family. Loneliness is
curse can drive to wrong situation; business and involvement in daily
affairs can evade this situation



Also See:

Sex and Sexuality

Relationships & Marriage

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