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Raising Confident Children
Raise a Careful, Confident Child
Written by: Tami Crea
Children often experience times when they feel unconfident and
suffer from childhood fears. Empowering your child to be strong
and confident is one of the best ways to keep him or her safe as
they grow up.
Fire, thunder, snakes, and spiders are many of the most normal
fears children experience. As they grow older, fears such as
whether they are accepted by their peer group or if other
children like them take over.
Fears such as the above are very normal. Following are a few tips
to help your child grow into a careful and confident kid.
1. Give information.
Talk it out. Even very young children can get over a fear if they
have enough information. Discuss why thunder is so noisy. Take
them to a zoo they can touch a snake and learn why it sticks it
tongue out all the time. Be responsive to helping them understand
the things they are afraid of.
2. Play "what if..."
If a child is afraid of being forgotten and left somewhere, role
play the worst case scenario. Ask, "What if something happened
and I wasn't there to pick you up? What would you do?" Give them
the tools they need to be confident. Provide them with money for
a phone call. Give them a list of friends and family's cell and
home phones. You might even show them how to call a taxi and be
sure there is always a stash of money at home they could use if
they ever had to do this. Knowing they have some power in a
situation goes a long way toward calming fears.
3. Teach your child to be happy.
Some children are born with a sunny disposition. Others need to
be reminded that life is not always serious. Teach your children
to look on the bright side of things. Help them to "roll with the
punches" and realize that even if somethings happens in a
different way than what they expected, that does not necessarily
mean it is bad. Try to emphasize the positive with your child.
Try to reinforce good behavior, rather than punish bad behavior.
This helps your child to see themselves as a good, strong person
and encourages good self-esteem.
4. Talk to your children.
Be sure your child knows that they can bring any concern, any
thought, any fear to you. Be accessible and open minded. Never
belittle a child's concern. Treat them with respect and expect
the same from them. Your behavior toward your child at home, will
transfer to their peer relationships. If you bully, they are more
likely to bully. If you listen, they are more likely to listen.
If you talk to them, they are more likely to talk to you.
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