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Great Sex
Joelle Cormier


I hate the conception that if you aren’t screwing like rabbits
something is wrong with you. Women’s magazines tell you how
to have “great sex”, movies have “great sex” scenes and it
seems like everything on TV nowadays is about sex – from the
shows to the commercials.


All the hype over sex gives me a headache. It really screws up
people’s expectations when they do have sex. No wonder people
are complaining that they aren’t having “great sex”! Who can
compete with the overly pumped up hormonal sex they see in
movies? It’s an exaggeration!

Except people believe it and so when they compare their own sex
life with those they see and hear about they feel like something is
wrong. I’m starting to think it’s just another marketing tool.
Convince people that they’re missing out on something really
incredible and they’ll run out and buy books, pills, lotions…
anything so that they can just experience the mind-blowing sex that
exists only in people’s imaginations.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying sex isn’t ‘great’ – I’m only
saying that when you get shot, stabbed and thrown down a flight
of stairs you ain’t gonna be getting back up and chasing after
someone with a chainsaw! All the stuff you see in movies is mostly
to entertain you – it isn't based on reality. In the ‘real world’ sex
can be a lot of things – it can be ‘good’, it can be ‘bad’, but
mostly it’s ‘satisfactory’. What’s wrong with satisfactory?

Think of sex like a back massage. Some don’t last as long as
you’d like, and sometimes it can be more painful than relaxing –
but overall they usually feel the same. I’ve never had a mind-blowing
back massage. Is something wrong with me? Am I missing
out on something?


It’s only my opinion – but I think the whole thing is stupid. I’m
28 years old and I’ve had my fair share of sex – which is another
thing that drives me nuts – ‘How much is normal?’ – ‘Am I getting
enough?’ I didn’t keep a log – and I don’t really want to reveal
how many partners I’ve had since my mother would still like to
think I was a virgin when I married my husband. The point is that it
was all relatively on the same scale. I never had what I call
‘movie sex’ – where the second you get in the door you’re
ripping each others clothes off. I suppose if I was desperate
and hadn’t had sex in such a long time I wouldn’t be able to
contain myself. But, I think I’d restrain myself and take the extra
seconds to unbutton his shirt – unless it was so hideous it
needed to be destroyed.


All that stuff about spicing up your sex life – give me a break!
There are some people that don’t like spicy – which is totally fine –
if you both feel the same. My view on sex is that it’s just
something fun to do with your partner. I’ve tried out an array
of spices and it’s fun to experiment - but mostly I’m just a salt
and pepper kinda girl. Which is great ‘cause my husband is too.
Salt and pepper sex can be great on its own.

I think if people stopped worrying about their sex lives and stopped
comparing it to how they THINK it SHOULD be they'd realize
how great it already is. If you insist on raising your expectations
to unreachable heights you're going to wind up a very sad and
disappointed person. Why is it so hard for us to imagine that
what we have is good enough?


I think it's good to try and improve yourself and your life, but
there are some things that don't necessarily need improving. Our
society would have you think different - you can be thinner,
healthier, wealthier, more successful, a better lover - just buy
our product! What would they have to gain by telling you that
you're fine just the way you are? That's why our country excels at
lowering people's self esteem and compromising their happiness.

My intention is not to trivialize the importance of sexual intimacy.
There are legitimate cases of sexual dysfunction and if you are
having problems, such as painful intercourse or difficulty
becoming aroused, it is reasonable to seek out help. If, however,
your lovemaking doesn't register on the Richter scale that doesn't
mean you aren't having great sex, all it really means is that you
have a sturdy bed.

You and your partner are the only people whose opinion matters.
If you both enjoy the quantity and quality of sex you're having,
then allow yourself to be happy with that. How often everyone
else is having sex or saying they're having sex shouldn't be of any
importance to you. If, however, you or your partner wants
more or wants to try something different then you need to
discuss that with your partner and work out a compromise.

The point shouldn't be to critique your lovemaking
- but to make something better than it already is. So please, try
not to take it all so seriously and just have fun!


*REMEMBER TO ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX!*


Read more by Joelle at http://PurpleTights.com 


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