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6 Common Marriage Mistakes
Copyright © 2005 Tapan Sarkar
These are 6 common marriage mistakes, that the young people and
those who care for them should be aware of.
Every marriage starts with a lot of hope and dreams about a life
long association filled with love and togetherness. But very few
marriages fulfill the hopes of the participants in totality.
There are various reasons for this but here we single out 6 of
them. Every young person who is planning marriage should be aware
of these most common pitfalls.
1. Marrying for the sake of love without first checking the depth
of love.
No denying that all relationships start with a sense of love and
mutual liking. Committing to a long term relationship like
marriage solely on the basis of that feeling of love is a
mistake. Because most of the time this kind of feeling is
superficial and can not pass the test of time. Romantic feeling
dies as time passes and far more important issues like 'family
background', 'values', 'religious faith', 'financial stability'
raise their head, and these issues are of real importance which
almost every body with feeling of mutual love ignore.
2. Marrying someone who does not share an interest or hobby.
While marriage with a person who does not share an interest or
hobby does not itself make the marriage unstable, presence of
such an interest or hobby can make life more enjoyable for both
the partners. And this can make a real difference so while
selecting life partner this aspect must be taken into account.
But for some reason or other this aspect is often overlooked
before marriage. And efforts start after marriage to adapt the
partner to one's own interest or develop a new common interest.
While that is not an impossible task, the process of adapting may
become un- palatable and may lead to unstable marriage.
3. Not knowing what questions to ask for checking compatibility.
As discussed earlier that marriage decision based on initial
sense of love may be counter productive. To make a marriage
successful one should do some simple homework. Knowledge of
future partner's background and certain other things can play a
crucial role here. But many young persons either do not try to
know all these important facts or do not know what are important
aspects s/he must know to make their marriage successful.
4. Thinking proper and careful quarries may offend her/him.
One may think that too much investigation about future partner's
back ground may not be a good idea. As the other partner may find
it distasteful. This kind of thought process keeps many young man
and woman from asking the right questions before marriage.
5. Depending too much on a friend or relative's recommendation.
A sizable number of young men and women often get married on the
recommendation of relatives or friends. While generally relatives
and friends are regarded as well wishers, marrying on their
recommendation is not a good idea. As their knowledge of a person
can never equal to the knowledge the person has about herself or
himself. So the person to be married is in a much better position
to select compatible life partner. Best way out is acting on
their recommendation only after successful completion of
compatibility check.
6. Getting married to make somebody else happy.
Sometimes people get married to make someone else happy. It may
be parents or it may be relatives. There is no problem in making
someone happy if that does not jeopardize one's own marriage. But
most of time in such cases marriages occur without exercising
enough caution. As a result one may end up marrying someone not
compatible.
If you are really serious to make your marriage an exciting,
loving and enriching experience you need to be careful about the
above things before your marriage.
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Tapan Sarkar
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