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Winning the food war with kids
Michelle Archard
Web Site: Family Calm
How often have you gritted your teeth in response to the
meal-time chorus:
"I don't like this" or "Yuk!"
And that's before they've even tasted it!
The scenario is repeated in millions of homes around the world:
You've prepared a family meal that you thought your children
would like. The response - "Yuk" (at best) or at worst, gagging
sounds followed by faked vomiting when you force them to eat it.
How to respond? Firstly, don't take it personally. You are not
the worst cook in the world and even if you are trying to poison
them, they can at least TRY the food before calling the child
protection authority. Try some of the following ideas to
encourage your kids to open their minds and mouths to different
foods.
Rewards program
Turn the situation from a battle into a reward-based situation.
Start a reward chart that allows your children to benefit from
trying new foods. Offer a sticker or some other indicator every
time they try a new food they haven't had before. You'll need to
set the rules for what 'trying' means. Offer them the chance to
decide on what's on a menu when they reach a certain number of
reward points. Help them choose healthy choices by showing them a
picture of the food pyramid and have them design a meal that
includes all the components of the pyramid, in the right
proportions. Try creating a 'very hungry catepillar' on the wall,
with another circle being added to the catepillar every time a
new food is tried. You might like to add a happy, sad or neutral
face on each circle to indicate whether your child liked the food
they tried.
Set a good example
Make positive comments about healthy foods (and encourage other
adults your children share meals with to do the same). Don't sit
down in front of the TV with a large packet of chips and expect
your children to eat spinach whilst you pig out on junk food.
Social meal times
Instead of meal times being a battle ground, turn off the TV, sit
the family at the table together and talk. This will take the
focus off the food and make meals a positive environment. You
could try implementing a tradition like having each person at the
table tell what the best and worst thing that happened to them
that day.
Grazing
For younger children, you might have more luck presenting small
amounts of food throughout the day, rather than three large
meals. Don't pile food on their plates. You can always offer
seconds if they eat the initial offering.
Start young
Ok, so you've fed your baby a boring diet of bland bottled baby
food. It's not too late the enliven their taste buds. Slowly
introduce small amounts of new flavours and gradually increase
the dose over a period of months. Start with adding 1/4 of a red
chilli to a stew or casserole they like and increase this each
time you make it. Add more garlic or a new herb, like coriander
(cilantro) to a pasta dish they eat. Throw some fresh herbs on a
bought pizza (prepare for the "you've ruined it!" howls). Curries
and stir frys are good meals to offer as you can change the
ingredients without them noticing it.
Repeat, repeat, repeat
A new recipe might be rejected on the first offering just because
it's new and therefore, suspect. Offer it several times again
over the course of a few months (give them long enough to forget
that they didn't like it) until it becomes familiar. Research
suggests that kids have to be presented with a new food at least
10 times before the consider it familiar.
Routine
During the week, strive to have a regular meal time. You can
relax on weekends. Making meals a social event by having the
whole family sitting down at the table together reinforces that
meals are important. Conversation might even distract them from
what they are eating!
Break the 'no-writing-in-books' rule
Write notes in your recipe books about how a particular dish was
received and how easy it was to prepare. This will be a valuable
reference next time you are looking for ideas on what to have for
dinner.
Get organized
Spend the time each week to work out a menu plan. It will save
your life when you get home late and are faced with 'I'm
starving'. You'll be able to develop your shopping list from the
menu plan so that you have all the ingredients on hand. Keep
notes on which dishes are family favourites and in a few weeks
you'll have a list of dishes that you can just slot into rotating
weekly menus. Throw in a few new dishes now and again just to
broaden your family's tastes. This strategy will stop you feeding
your children junk just to give you time to figure out what to
cook for dinner. It will also save you money as you'll only buy
the food you need instead of throwing out unused vegetables at
the end of the week. If you get really stuck one cold and rainy
night then just fry some onions. It makes everyone think that
something is happening and it gives you time to think.
Bribes and damn lies
If you hear yourself falling back on the tricks your mother used
- "If you don't eat your vegetables then you can't have dessert"
or "Think of the starving children in Africa" then stop. This
strategy usually backfires and makes your child hate the food
even more. If they refuse to eat simply remove the plate and move
onto the next course.
Self service
Allow your children to serve themselves or help with meal
preparation. The more involved they are, the more likely they
will eat. Playing 'waiter' with a serving tray, is always fun.
Fajitas are a healthy self-service meal.
Minimize liquids
Make sure that your child is not filling up on drinks before or
during meal times.
Substitution
If your child has an intense dislike for a food, try a
substitute. If not a vegetable will pass between their lips then
offer fruit for dessert. Non-milk drinkers can eat cheese or
yogurt. If cooked vegetables are rejected then try raw ones.
The art of disguise
Stews, casseroles, pastas and soups are great vehicles for
covering up vegetables and other yukky stuff. Zucchini, carrots,
pumpkin, potatoes and onions can all be grated and added without
fear of identification. A layer of mashed potato on top will act
as a further cover up.
Food art
Turn your meals into works of art by creating food pictures.
Vegetables and fruits are good for this. Kids enjoying eating an
'ear' or a 'nose' more than a snow pea or a carrot. Offer the raw
ingredients and they can create their own edible works of art.
Don't lose your cool!
Don't turn meal time into a power struggle. Just remove the
uneaten food, possibly saving it to offer later. Offer something
like fruit and bread as an alternative if you are worried that
they'll starve (few children have ever deliberately starved
themselves to death). Refuse requests for snacks later.
More ideas
Nesquik ran a competition asking parents to submit their best
methods of promoting healthy eating with their children. Here are
some of the submissions:
Vegetable of the month club: Have your kids select a vegetable
from a list and then cook the vegetable in as many different ways
as possible.
Alphabet eating adventure: Eat a different vegetable or fruit
each day, working your way from Apple to Zucchini.
Michelle Archard is the founder and CEO of Family Calm, LLC,
based in Austin, TX. She enjoys torturing her children with new
foods and is pleased that the years of torment are finally paying
off. Her children (aged 6 & 9) now eat a wide range of foods. She
is currently researching recipes that offer healthy school lunch
alternatives (as well as coming up with new products & ideas to
soothe other areas of life with kids). The results of her
research can be found at http://www.familycalm.com and in the
newsletter that you can subscribe to on that site.
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