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How To End A Relationship
Harlan Jacobsen Copyright © 2003
Many stay in bad or expired relationships that have long since
died because they do not know how to end a relationship.
Often they are totally afraid the other person will come unglued
if they end it.
They want to know how to end a relationship with out bad
repercussions.
Met a young lady from California at a seminar in San Diego I was
attending who said she was there to find out how to end a
relationship she was in and just could not seem to get out of.
She just did not have the courage to go thru what she thought
would be a very bad reaction from her partner if she ended it.
So she had stayed in it for a long time and she wanted out.
She was not finding what she wanted to know on how to end it, at
the seminar so I wrote out the "sandwich" for her.
She called me from California a week later and said it went
really well, with no reperecussions and she was tremendously
relieved and glad to be out of a relationship that was going
nowhere.
If this is something you need to do and it should be obvious to
you by now that you need to be out of what was (no longer) a good
relationship
for you.
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USE THE SANDWICH...IT WORKS
Here is how you deliver this announcement.
You will see why we call it the sandwich.
Top Layer....
Something good about them you always appreciated, etc.
Second Layer.....
Another good thing about them or the relationship.
(this is the ketchup)
The Limitation, the MEAT of the sandwich.
You say,
I have decided this relationship is over and I am getting out of
it so we can both "move on".
Fourth layer:
Another thing you liked about them or the relationship.
(this is the cheese)
The Fifth and Bottom Layer ......
I have gained a lot from the relationship and I hope we can
always remain good friends.
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Note, do not say in the limitation, I think maybe, say I HAVE
DECIDED, this means there is nothing to discuss.
Let them know and understand that this is it and I believe you
will find they can handle it when announced in this manner.
They too may have been aware it was over but did not have the
courage to end it either.
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Remember, you can use the sandwich with your children in setting
limitations, putting an end to some activity etc. Use it at work.
Put the "sandwich" in your tool kit of useful items in dealing
with people, that come in handy from time to time.
If you have not done so yet, you can even use it to tell your
spouse, you are filing for a divorce.
You can use the sandwich to end a relationship or to put
limitations on any matter without the usual severe unwanted
reactions.
Note: For simple limtations a three layer sandwich may suffice.
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