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Accepting and Embracing Your Sexual Self
Essa Alraune


What are you hiding?

C’mon…you know you’re hiding something.

Is it that you like anal sex?…That you like to have sex with women and
men alike?… That you are dominant?…That you like to be tied-up?

What is it? C’mon, you can tell me.

It’s just between the two of us. I won’t tell anyone – and you’ll feel
better if you tell someone!


Don’t believe me? Find a person that you feel is non-judgmental and
that you can trust. Tell them, and see for yourself. What? You say
that’s easier said than done?

What if someone SEEMS non-judgmental, and you think you can
trust them, but then you’re wrong. You certainly won’t be feeling much
better when your secret is out.

You know, you’re right. But you know what else? Interestingly, more
than likely that person who would be talking about your thing,
HAS THEIR VERY OWN THING, TOO…and they keep it
just as tightly wrapped up as yours. They, too, wonder what others might think…wonder if
they’re a bad person, or if something is wrong with
them because their interest isn’t in the mainstream of the conservative,
“OK” sexual realm. All the while, though, they have a sense of
guilty enjoyment from the pleasure that draws them to do it in the first place.


The thing is, though, that while they’re off talking about another’s thing,
they keep attention away from they own, and they are SURE TO LET
OTHERS KNOW THAT THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT.

Funny how we human beings are, covering parts of ourselves that we
actually have in common with others, but don’t know it because we’re
too busy hiding it.

I’d be willing to bet there may even be atleast one person who would
read this and say, “Not me! I’m not hiding anything!” If that is you,
you might want to consider if you are denying a part of yourself
because you feel that it’s wrong to have the interest/desire/feeling
that you have. So, truly you aren’t really hiding it, but rather just
denying it…all the while you ARE IT!


Interesting, don’tja think?

Now, of course, I could be off base here. My experience is what I have
come to base my thoughts on. It seems to me that sex and sexual
matters are the last taboo in our society. It is the one thing that is
not supposed to be “out there” for public consumption. As a
pleasurable activity, some would say it isn’t even supposed to be
there for private consumption. It is one of those things that is being
pushed down, pushed aside, covered up, while all the time still
living quite a fertile life.

Has anyone considered that the more it’s covered up and hidden,
the more it is made the thing that shouldn’t be done, the more likely
some will want to do it, or try it?

Ever do something that you weren’t supposed to be allowed to do –
and then wonder what the charge was? Or perhaps you went the
other way…you got a big charge out of it because you
were doing something you weren’t supposed to do?

Think about this. People have sex in their office or an elevator, or in
other “off limits” places because they’re “off limits.” It probably wasn’t
until someone said; “No, this is not acceptable” that couples lined
up and said, “Let’s have sex HERE!” I wonder how many people
would be having sex in these types of places if suddenly anyone
could do it anywhere.

Now, before you think I support having sex anywhere, let me say,
given how things have been, if suddenly it was OK, I would imagine
for awhile people would be doing it just about anywhere.
But, I would also imagine that the reaction would wear off after a
time, and people would cease to do it JUST BECAUSE THEY
COULD, but rather because they wanted to. Maybe there
would even be a reversion to “let’s just do this for us” behind
closed doors.

Oftentimes, I think people REACT vs. ACT. They don’t realize it
at the time. But the minute someone says they can’t do something –
they NEED to do that very same thing.

There’s an expression what you resist, PERSISTS. If we as a
society resist certain sexual behaviors, they will likely continue on
a larger scale than those who are vocal about it would like.
On a more personal level, resisting a part of who you are – or
think you could be – will only have that part of you continue to
haunt and taunt you. Allow it, and you may find that the driving power
it seemed to have diminishing, and you’ll be free to be or not to
be, to do or not to do, and no longer be at its mercy.

I realize, again, that this may just sound a little too easy of a solution,
while it feels to you to be quite a difficult thing to allow. However,
I have had many conversations with people regarding these types
of things, and once they released themselves from another’s
restraints (opinions and judgments), they found relief.

Given the nature of what I have written, I feel compelled to speak
to the following: as long as humans continue to make judgments
about what they think is “wrong”, “right”, “good”, “bad”, there
will always be a diversity of opinions on the assessments of another,
based on another’s relative experience. For that reason, someone
can always find a way to justify their own behavior.

This article was written with the greatest of respect for people and
their sexual nature. It was not intended in any way to promote any s
exual behavior or tendencies.

Since I care a great deal for others, it is my belief that it is important
for us to be true to ourselves, but not to the detriment of another.
What has been written here was written in this context, and it
is my desire that a person reading this, who has been fighting
aspects of their sexual persona, has been provided a prospective
that provides an alternative to their current experience.


Essa has a varied, non-judgmental, and fun approach to the work
she does as a StressBusterBuddy. She works primarily with individuals
on a one-on-one basis, and is the Author and Publisher of a
mindful meditation CD. To learn more about Essa, her CD, or to listen
to her online recordings, visit http://www.StopKickingYourself.com/


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