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Cool Ideas for Flirting and Seduction
The Art of Seduction
By Sharon Jacobsen
Seduction is a question of subtle strategy with one ultimate goal -
to have sex with someone.
The desire for sex is powerful, for some it can be as powerful as the
need to eat and breath.
Seduction is the road we take to achieve sexual satisfaction.
While the ultimate goal is to have sex, there are lots of smaller goals
that need to be reached along the road to the sexual surrender of
our chosen partner.
For some, the thrill of seduction lies in the chase rather than the conquest.
The excitement of wanting and pursuing someone can give a sense
of satisfaction in itself. For others, it's the knowledge that another
persons sexual attentions are focused on them that gives that
electric thrill.
Those who thoroughly enjoy the chase are generally people with
plenty of self-confidence. Their belief in themselves increases the
likelihood of success.
Those who are less self-confident usually find seduction far more
difficult. How can you convince a member of the opposite sex to
believe in you if they look upon yourself as being unattractive?
It's important that you choose the right person to seduce. This is
more a matter of instinct than anything else, but most of us endeavour
to make conversation, or at least some eye contact, with
a potential partner who we consider to be about as attractive
as we feel we are.
Once you've sought out your 'prey', you have to decide whether
the time and/or situation is right for seduction. If the object of your
passion is somebody you see on a regular basis, the time/place
being wrong may very well add to the thrill. If you're getting the
right feedback, the knowledge that the other person is interested
but that you can't do anything about it just yet can increase the
feelings of arousal and excitement.
But how do you know that he's interested? The best clues come
from reading body language.
Non-verbal signals are far better indicators of how a person feels
about you than anything they may actually say verbally. Those with
an open posture are usually more available than those who
stand with their arms crossed.
The eyes are the biggest give-away when it comes to seduction. If
he returns you gaze, and especially if he holds eye contact with you
longer than you'd normally expect, then chances are you're on to a
winner. Trust your instincts. You'll 'feel' whether he's interested or
not. Small gestures and tone of voice tell us a lot about how the
other person feels about us.
Flirting and the Art of Seduction
Flirt. Did I really need to mention that? Flirting is used in two ways.
We flirt with others to remind our partner that we still need to be
wooed by him, but when used for seduction, it's a means of
keeping the other person interested and aroused, as well as letting
them know that they are unlikely to be rejected. Men, who are
generally the pursuers, are highly dependent on your signals
to reassure them that they are 'onto something'. Playing hard-to-get
isn't particularly attractive to men unless you're sending out enough
signals to assure him that you are 'gettable' and that the
chase will be worth it in the end.
Once you've made contact with him, you'll need to let him know
where the encounter is likely to be heading. People have very different
ideas of what sex should be, so it's important that you both
know that you're looking for the same things. This doesn't mean
that you should just blurt out "I'm a dominatrix, how d'ya fancy
being whipped?", or anything else quite as obvious. You can, and it
might work, but in general, the subtle approach is more likely to
get you what you want.
Men generally take the lead in this area, asking questions and trying
to access whether you'd make a satisfactory sex partner. Follow his l
ead. The questions probably won't be direct (depending upon
the man), but they will be based around 'self-disclosure'. He tells you
some, you tell him some.
People typically discuss sex in a light-hearted, abstract manner when
accessing a potential partner, testing each other in a non-committal way.
Now that you're speaking, you have to sustain his interest. Two
people who may have been attracted to each other visually, may
not have the right chemistry to move along the road of
seduction once mouths have been opened. Look for signs of
acceptance or rejection. If you pick up on any signs of rejection,
don't waste your time on something that is very unlikely to happen,
no matter how much you fancy him. There are plenty more
available males about just waiting to be seduced.
If you're still doing fine and the signals are good, it's time to move
onto the final yielding. One of you must surrender. In all probability
it will be you, because even if you initialized the seduction,
he will probably have taken over the role of pursuer somewhere
along the line. The roles of 'hunter' and 'prey' have been decided
through thousands of years of evolution, and usually fall
naturally into place. Surrender and enjoy!
Sharon grew up in East London but moved to Norway at the age
of 19, returning to England in 1998. She now lives in Cheshire
with her partner and two of her three children. Besides writing,
she is currently studying Social Science with The Open University,
runs a web site where women in the UK can meet other women
for platonic friendship www.friendsyourway.co.uk potters in
her garden, knits and reads everything she comes over.
Also See:
Index of Relationships & Marriage
Better Sex & Sexuality Issues
Women's Health & Women's Issues
Your Health and Wellness Center
