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copyright 1999 by Jennifer Baltz. All rights reserved.
We all have soulmates and soul-friends--people who we have known
before in other lives, who cross our paths. Sometimes they join
us for a lifetime; other times, they are here only for a brief
time, to help us on our journeys.
So how can you bring your soulmates into your life? There's a lot
of relationship advice out there that tries to tell you how. But
many people discover that all they have to do is ask. Whether you
believe in a conscious God, or a synchronous universe, putting
your conscious intention out there is a great way to start making
subtle changes to the fabric of the universe.
One man asked God to help him find his life partner while he was
stationed in Vietnam--an unlikely place to find true love! Brian
asked every girlfriend he'd ever had (five of them) to write to
him while he was away. "I was the envy of the company; five young
ladies writing to me!" he says. But one night, Brian was assigned
to staff the main office. His duties included sorting and picking
up the mail. He came across a letter addressed to "any U.S.
Serviceman." He decided it was meant for him and opened the
letter.
The letter was from a female missionary, writing to tell soldiers
of Jesus' love for them. The thought flashed through his mind:
this might be the girl God had in mind for him. So, he asked the
Supreme Being to give him a sign: if all five of his female pen
pals stopped writing to him, this girl was the one. "Within a
week, I had received three Dear John letters, and I never heard
from the other two again!" he says with a laugh. "The next letter
back to the States, I wrote and asked my new pen pal to marry
me!"
Several months later, Brian was discharged, spent a day with his
family in the Midwest, then drove to Texas to meet his fiancee
for the first time. "We were married that June and have been
together now for over twenty six years!" His simple request, and
the faith and courage to see it through, created a powerful chain
of events that led him to his true love.
But what if you've been asking the Universe for your true love,
but to no avail? No matter what you do, your soulmate just
doesn't appear. Or the wrong guy or gal keeps coming into the
picture time and time again?
In this story, Brian was ready and waiting to take action: that
drive to Texas was a tremendous leap of faith. Had he arrived and
discovered the girl just wasn't for him, I'll bet you anything he
would have found the right one soon after. Why? Because Brian was
willing to do whatever it took to make his dream real. It takes
energy, some hard work, and a bit of faith to make your dreams
come true. If you sit around waiting for love to come to you, you
aren't giving your goal much support.
Being ready to receive love is also very important. If you are
not ready, you won't allow it into your life. In Finding True
Love: The Four Essential Keys to Discovering the Love of Your
Life, Bay Area therapist Daphne Rose Kingma notes that timing is
very important. She suggests asking yourself if there is
something else you need to do first before you fall in love, and
then give yourself the space and time to do it. Being honest with
yourself is important in finding true love, and in making your
other life dreams come true as well.
Notice also that in this story and the others in Part One,
soulmates appeared in a serendipitous way--seemingly without
effort. There is a big difference between making yourself
available for love and acting on it, and trying too hard to seek
it out -- or force it to work with someone who is just not for
you. Brian made a bit of a game of his quest for a mail order
bride. He had fun with it! He didn't put out a lot of effort to
materialize a future wife--he was in the middle of a war zone
trying to stay alive. But, he did drive across America to go get
her once he got home.
Remember that a soulmate connection takes care and attention, but
it doesn't take a lot of draining effort--you don't need to try
too hard to create something that is already there. All you need
to do is recognize it, value it, and act on what you see.
Four Steps to A Soulmate Relationship
1. First, decide that you really want a soulmate bond. These
relationships can be very intense. Like any long term
relationship, they require honest communication with yourself and
your partner, and a willingness to let each other grow as
individuals. Trying to hold onto that other person, and keep him
or her from changing, does NOT work in a healthy soulmate
relationship. The essence of a soulmate partnership is growth and
spiritual evolution: it is work!
2. Open the doorway. Ask the universe and God to bring a soulmate
connection into your life. Remember Jesus' words: Ask and you
shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door shall
be opened to you.
3. Give yourself permission to receive love. It sounds like a
simple thing, but many of us have to take down a wall or two and
allow love to come in. If it doesn't happen right away, you may
have additional life lessons or growth experiences that need to
happen before you are ready to create that relationship.
4. When you find a strong connection with someone, don't cling.
Give that person the freedom to make his or her own choices, to
be an individual. Clingy love can suffocate even the most
promising relationships because it demands that the other person
be different than who they really are. Give your loved one space
to be an individual as well as part of a couple.
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